misc jokes

Two fleas were walking out of the cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
"Shall we walk?" said one flea.
"No," said the other, " lets take a dog."

Two little skunks called In and Out were playing in the woods.
Out went home, and his mother said, "Where's In?, go and get him, there's a good boy."
So Out went back into the woods and returned shortly with his brother. "That's a good boy," said Mother skunk, "How did you find him so quickly?" "Easy," said the little skunk, "In stinked ...."

One man asks another, "How old is your wife?"

"She's approaching thirty."

"But from which direction?"

"I am not at all satisfied with the evidence against you," said the magistrate to the prisoner on trial,
"so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged."

"Oh, good," said the prisoner, "Does that mean that I can keep the money?"