misc jokes

Officer: Do you know why I stopped you, son?
Driver: Cause you thought I had some doughnuts?

Q: What kind of dance does a butcher go to?
A: A meatball

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist” Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure
he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for
the jewelry."

Q. How are men like blenders?
A. You know you need one, but your not quite sure why.