Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar. Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word. Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'." Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man. "Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)

Jim had been on a game show for one week straight, getting every question right. At the end of the week the host of the show said, "Jim, you've been excellent this week. If you answer this question, you will win $60,000 and a new car!"

"Okay!" answered Jim.

"Now as you know," said the host, "you can answer part A or part B of the question first. Which one would you like to take a shot at?"

"Oh, how about part B,"answered Jim nonchalantly.

The host said, "OK. Here's your question-part B- And in what year did it happen?'"

The oldest joke in the book, but oh well!

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9 (Seven Ate Nine, get it?)

A man found a magic genie who would grant him one wish. The man said to the genie,” I wish that I had a non-stop bridge from here to Hawaii." The genie said,” I’m sorry, but that's going to be very hard. Do you have another wish?" The man answered, "Of course! I want the power to understand all women." The genie thought for a minute. He replied, "How many platforms did you want on that bridge?"