A woman had been selling waterbeds for almost four years, and thought she had heard every question imaginable. But then a customer asked, "Can you deliver it filled with water?"
Stunned, the woman replied, "Are you kidding? It would weigh over twelve hundred pounds!"
After a short pause, the customer responded, "Could you do it if I helped you carry it in?"
Sitting in the bar George asks his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?"
John replies, "I haven't found the right woman yet."
"So what are you looking for?"
"Oh, she's got to be real pretty, a good cook, and house keeper. She's got to know how to handle money, have a nice and pleasant personality, and money. She's got to have money. And a nice big house wouldn't hurt either."
"A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!" says George.
"Oh, it's okay, if she is crazy."
A neighbor went to visit her friend Brenda and her 4 year old daughter Maggie.
"What have you been doing today?" she asked.
"Just a little housework," replied Brenda.
"Are you too exhausted for my visit"? the neighbor replied.
"No, not at all. I was just cleaning the inside of Maggie's dollhouse."
Carol and Patty were walking down the street. Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
Patty said, "Let me look!" So Carol handed her the compact.
Patty looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!"