misc jokes

Category: "Misc Jokes"
$8.00 won 2 votes

A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.

At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Heaven! Heaven!" yelled little Lisa.

"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.

"Dead!" yelled Little Johnny.

2 votes

posted by "S.Sovetts" |
1 votes

Top 5 Signs You Probably Should be Exercising More:

Your five-year-old walking shoes look brand new.

Underneath that pile of cobwebs is your rowing machine

That gym you signed up for has reported you as a missing person

You've switched from wearing belts to bungee cords.

You're got winded just reading this list.

1 votes

posted by "aod318" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

Joe: "Say Moe, I'll bet you $10 that I can prove to you that I'm not actually here."

Moe: "Not actually here? That makes no sense."

Joe: "Well then, I'll prove it. Am I in Chicago?"

Moe: "No."

Joe: "Am I in New York?"

Moe: "No."

Joe: "Am I in Hawaii?"

Moe: "No."

Joe: "If I'm not in any of those places, I must be somewhere else, and if I'm somewhere else, then I'm not here. I'll take my $10 now, please."

Moe: "How can I pay you if you're not here?"

3 votes

posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
2 votes

I was on vacation in Texas, and was appalled by Dallas' chaotic traffic.

I asked the bellhop at the hotel why it was so disorderly.

"In some countries, they drive on the right, in others on the left. Here, we drive in the shade."

2 votes

posted by "merk" |