misc jokes

I once went to Barnes & Noble. I asked the lady working there, “Where is the self-help section?”

She said, “That would defeat the purpose.”

After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, Sarah decided she had been stood up.

Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and hot chocolate, and resigned herself to an evening of TV.

No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV when the doorbell rang. Her dad went to the door, and there stood her date.

He took one look at Sarah on the couch and gasped, "I'm two hours late and she's still not ready?"