misc jokes

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely. The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none.

The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?''

The man thought for a moment, then said, ''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?''

The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.

The man clears his throat and begins singing, ''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''

A man recently volunteered to perform a parachute jump for charity. The first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.

"How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one new jumper.

"A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

The jumper thought about this for a while before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music...

I hope they split us by music genre.