For months Bill had been Lynn's devoted admirer. At long last he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the momentous question.
"There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," Bill began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows."
To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn's eyes. Then she nodded in agreement, "I think it's a wonderful idea! Can I help you pick out a puppy?"
A concerned father called his son’s Scout Master. “My son told me that due to a new policy you wouldn’t be bringing any moonshine so he’d be required to bring beer for evening use."
After a low quiet chuckle the Scout Master replied, “No, I said due to a new moon it wouldn’t shine well so make sure you bring a bush light for use after dark.”
Fellow 1: "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that, too."
Fellow 2: "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"
Fellow 1: "A judge told him."