A Police Officer was questioning a young man who's smart car got stuck between the concrete walls of a pedestrian stairway.
When the police officer had asked him what he was thinking at that moment, his response was, "I was instructed by my Uber App to take a sharp left."
A professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded.
"Professors haven't got bad memory," he declared. "They're not absent-minded. Don't you think I know where I am right now, and don't you think tomorrow I'll know where I was today? Would somebody like to ask me another question?"
"Yes," said another guest. "Is it true that professors are absent-minded and have bad memory?"
"Good!" said the professor. "I knew sooner or later somebody would ask me that question."
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.
En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"
The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window.
"Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."