misc jokes

The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced.

Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over.

They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it.

"You ought to be ashamed," the father told his lazy son. "When George Washington was your age, he had become a surveyor and a hard worker."

"And when he was your age," the boy replied, "he was President of the United States!"

A man called up a bird store the other day and said, "Send me 30,000 cockroaches at once!"

"What in heaven's name do you want with 30,000 cockroaches?"

"Well," replied the householder, "I am moving today and my lease says I must leave the premises here in exactly the same condition in which I found them."