Two children went into their parent's bathroom and noticed the scale in the corner.
"Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger one, "don't step on it!"
"Why not?" asked the sibling.
"Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!"
1. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
2. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
3. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
4. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
5. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
6. You're reading this.
7. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.
A motorist had a flat tire in front of an insane asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain.
A patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take one bolt from the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.
The motorist thanked him profusely and said, "I don't know why you are in that place."
The patient said, "I'm in here for being crazy, not for being stupid."
Bobby: What is the difference between a lemon, an elephant, and a bag of cement?
Ray: I give up, what's the difference?
Bobby: You can squeeze a lemon, but you can't squeeze an elephant.
Ray: What about the bag of cement?
Bobby: I just threw that in to make it hard.