Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:
The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
And his magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh
A not-so-smart person walks up to the counter and says: "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries and a diet coke."
The man behind the counter says "Look around! This is a LIBRARY!"
"Oh, how silly of me." says the person. She then begins whispering, "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries and a diet coke..."
A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?"
"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer."
"Never heard of him. What did he write?"
"A big check," replied the guide.