misc jokes

Category: "Misc Jokes"
$9.00 won 2 votes

Two prison guards are changing shifts in the morning.

“You know that a prisoner ran off in the night?”

The other guard sighs, “Ah finally, no more of that dang hammering!”

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

Little Josh was brought to Dr. Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr. Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn't work. A little pleading, to no avail.

Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye. He said, "Look young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I. You're not going anywhere until you eat something. You can have whatever you want, but only after you have eaten will you leave."

Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said, "OK. I'll eat but I have some conditions. First, I'll have exactly what I want and exactly how I want it and second you'll share with me."

Dr. Gill was OK with this. He asked the child what he'd like. "Worms!" said Josh.

Dr. Gill was horrified but didn't want to back out and seem like a loser. So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in. "Not that many, just one," yelled Josh as he saw the plate.

So, everything other than one worm was removed. Josh then demanded that the single worm be cut into two pieces and then Dr. Gill eat half. Dr. Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing, barely managing to keep his cool, said, "OK, now eat!"

Josh refused as he sobbed, "No way! You ate my half!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
0 votes

One day I'd like to GO to Conclusions...

But you always have to jump to them, and I'm not much on physical activity.

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

The proprietor of a small village drugstore was called out one sleepy summer morning, leaving the establishment temporarily under the sole management of a very young, and very uneducated, clerk.

"Just answer the phone if it rings, Jim," instructed the proprietor.

The phone rang.

"Hello," said the clerk.

"Do you have streptomycin and aureomycin?" asked a voice at the other end.

The clerk scratched his head, then said, "Ma'am, when I said 'Hello' I told you everything I know."

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "merk" |