misc jokes

While perusing a curio shop in Texas, Harold's eye is drawn to the skull of a horse sitting on a high shelf. "Pardon me, but what's this?' he asks the shops keeper.

"That," the shop keeper replies. "Is the actual skull of Trigger, the horse belonging to legendary Wild West hero Roy Rogers."

"How much is it?" Harold asks.

"This little gem is $3,000."

Harold hadn't wished to spend quite that much, so he asks the shop keeper if she had anything cheaper, upon which she reaches under the counter and takes out a smaller horse skull. "This is only $500."

"Well, that sounds like a good deal," Harold replies. "Whose skull is it?"

"It's Trigger's skull from when he was just a colt."

Last night I dreamt I had an identical twin.

This morning when I woke up I was beside myself!

A man went skydiving for the first time. "It's easy," said the instructor.

"Just count to five and pull on the main chute," the instructor continued. "If that doesn't open, count to ten and pull on the reserve chute."

"Super easy," he concluded. "Then you'll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport."

The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main chute. Nothing happened. He pulled on the reserve chute. Nothing happened.

He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said: "I bet that bus won't be there to pick me up either."