She: "Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on."
He: "But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
She: "True, but I do."
- So many men, so few who can afford me
- God made us sisters, and Prozac made us friends
- If they don't have chocolate in Heaven, I ain't going!
- My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips
- Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog
- Coffee - Chocolate - Men ... Some things are just better rich
- Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really care anymore.
- I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
- Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
I saw a bloke walking along carrying a door handle. I asked him why he had it.
He said, "Well, it gets me out of the house."