misc jokes

A woman stopped at a historic old hotel and asked the desk clerk for the room rates. “A room on the first floor is none hundred and fifty dollars; on the second floor, one hundred and forty dollars, and on the third floor, one hundred and thirty dollars.”
The woman turned to leave. “Don’t you like the accommodations?” asked the clerk.
“Oh, yes, it’s great,” replied the woman. “It just isn’t tall enough.”

Q: What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

A: The tromBONE

Conversations with Inanimate Objects:

"You never did love me! You only want me for my money!" - Your ATM Card
"I can see right through you!" - X-ray machine

Conversation in the kitchen:

Refrigerator: (to microwave) "You're hot!"

Microwave: "I know. And you're not!"
Vacuum cleaner: "Geez, that's cold! Brr.."
Refrigerator: (to vacuum cleaner) "Shut up, you suck! Go and eat my dust!"

Q: Do you know why dogs don't dance?
A: They have two left feet!