misc jokes

An Idiot was eating in a restaurant and suddenly, he started singing aloud to the pleasure of the other customers. After eating, he stood up to go without paying for his meal. "You haven't paid for your meal" said a waitress to him to which he replied "what do you make of my entertainment then?" Getting annoyed, the waitress replied, “no one asked you to entertain anyone," to which the Idiot replied "no one asked me to come and eat here either."

A woman is a complicated creature. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
A. When it’s time to revert to childhood, he’s already there.

After watching the girls do line dancing, Michael thought, hey I can do this. So he got in line and asked one of the girls, what’s the name of this dance?
"She said I don't know; this is the line for the bathroom"