misc jokes

After our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out he was a high school classmate of my husband's, a man named Love. He said to ask for him the next time we had any problems.

The following year, when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love. I took the day off from my job to be there.

After he finished repairing our air conditioner, he left his work order behind. On it was written my name and the scheduling instructions: "Wants Love in afternoon."

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor.

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That darned pink elephant followed me home again.

The hairdresser stares for a while in disbelief at her customers greasy hair...

She then asks, “So, did you come to get a haircut or just for an oil change?”