misc jokes

What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

The same middle name.

Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.

After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer. "So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.
"Yep", replies Bob.
"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"
Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me."
"WHAT?" exclaims Jeff. "You just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack?"
"Sure," Bob says.
"Why?" asks Jeff.

"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'Are you Steve's widow?'
'Widow?' she said, 'No, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!'
So I said, "I'll bet you a six-pack you are."

A man was reading on social media that apparently it’s unattractive to wear socks with sandals. He told his wife about this, who quickly said. “Honey use your head, we’re going to the museum of natural history today; lets pass on the missing link photo opportunity.”

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns behind his ears...

I just think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.