misc jokes

A man rolls on the couch, clutching his knee in agony. His wife asks him, "What's the matter dear?”

The man replies, "I have got a splitting headache in my knee."

What's the difference between a jeweler, a vendor, and a bottle of glue?

A jeweler sells watches.
A vendor watches what he sells.

As for the bottle of glue, I thought you might have got stuck with that one.

Three Chinese named Chu, Bu, and Fu went to America. Upon reaching there they decided to Americanize their names.

So Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck… and Fu decided to return to China.

A man has written a book about how to understand women. The pages are blank.