misc jokes

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer...

I saw it through my telescope last night.

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: Tiruvananthapuram.

Teacher: Spell it.

Student: Sorry, I meant Goa.

I couldn't sleep one night so I decided to take the dumbest tests Facebook had to offer. After answering about 90 questions... it turns out apparently, that I have insomnia.

My friend is a Genie in a bottle.

One day he came home from work frustrated with his current master. I asked why.

He replied, "I don't know, he just rubs me the wrong way."