misc jokes

Father: You did well with your chores this week, how would you like a shiny new quarter?

Son: I'd rather have a dirty old dollar!

I saw a commercial on late night TV. It said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers."

So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were.

Actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

* A speed limit sign: "Smile, You're on Radar!"

* Seen in a State Park: (A large sign with a rock hanging on a rope) "Weather Station: Check the rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."

* Notice in a field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."

* Sign seen in a small restaurant: "Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law."

What has eight wheels but carries only one passenger?

A pair of roller skates.