misc jokes
Favorite this joke After I retired there was the problem of filling up the time that I was not used to having. My nephew said, "Bungee jumping is fun!"
I decided to try it and now I'm two inches taller... I can't walk, but I'm two inches taller.
A woman had bought lots of shoes over time and she decided it was time to kick the habit. She really took it seriously, even changing her driving route to avoid her favorite shoe store. One evening, however, she arrived home carrying a shoe box. Her husband grinned at her, but it didn't faze her at all.
"These are very special shoes," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the shoe store and there in the window were the most perfect shoes I've ever seen! I felt this was no accident, so I thought I'd let fate decide. If I would get a parking spot directly in front of the shop, the shoes were meant for me. And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!"
A group of tourists in Africa were enjoying a guided tour into bush country to observe the wild life. The guide announced, “Don’t be surprised if you see an elephant wearing sunglasses.”
One of the tourists asked why an elephant would be wearing sunglasses. The guide answered, "Well, they do this to so they can go unnoticed at the beach."
The tourist then said, "That’s preposterous! My hotel is on the beach and I’ve never seen an elephant."
The guide replied, "I guess it works."
The brain is the most amazing organ in the body. It works 24/7/365 from the day you’re born right up to the point you discover girls.
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