misc jokes

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

I was at a tanning salon the other day and noticed a customer running off without paying...

I heard the cashier yell out, "You better get back here or I'll tan your backside!"

What did the mortician say when his assistant suddenly quit on him?

"Go ahead, it's your funeral!"