misc jokes

"Mom, I wish I had the enough money to buy an elephant."

The mother asked, "Why do you want an elephant?"

The boy replied, "I never said I wanted an elephant, I just wish I had that much money."

I just started a support group where no one sees or hears each other.

I don't know how many members there are because I don't hear or see any of them.

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today.

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

This is the best weight loss diet...

If it taste good, spit it out!