misc jokes

An ardent traveler named Joan spent most of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a swimsuit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly started when she heard someone running up the stairs. Joan was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered hotel manager, out of breath from dashing up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the manager. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

One toy says to another: "My life is spiraling out of control!"

"What do you expect? You're a TOP!"

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine, who is not so bright. He asked if I knew what the buzzing was for?

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Without missing a beat, he responded, "What are blind people doing driving?"