Picked up a hitchhiker the other night and he asked me, "How did you know I was not a serial killer?"
I replied, "The chances of two serial killers in the same car are astronomical."
Daughter: "Mom, are you gaining some weights?"
Mother: "Hon, it's because your dad always makes me angry. When I am mad, I eat a lot."
Daughter: "No wonder dad is bigger."
If during the wedding ceremony, the man standing to the groom is called best man...
How come the woman next to the bride is only a maid?
As I get older I realized....
I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.