Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave.
Eventually, a sports car pulled up, and two teens got out. "This I've got to see," I thought.
They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off laughing.
A man climbs up to the top of a mountain. He shouts "I love you!" and waits for the echo.
The echo comes replies, "I have a boyfriend!"
Boy: "How old are you?"
Girl: "I'm not saying. You know, you shouldn't ask a girl her age."
Boy: "Oh, okay. By the way, what's your email address?"
Girl: "It's email@example.com, why?"
2014: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2015: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2016: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2017: I will work out 3 days a week.
2018: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.