My wife opened her first checking account and went out purchasing things for the house.
After a couple weeks the bank called her and told her she was out of funds.
In total shock, my wife exclaimed, "How can I be out of money when I've got all these checks left?"
"Whose car is this?"
"Mine! I just picked it up from the car dealer. You like it?"
"It's great, congratulations!"
"Thanks, but it's just a second hand one. Would you like to take it for a spin?"
"Really? You don't mind?"
"Not at all."
Five Minutes Later-
"What'd going on? I thought you were taking the car for a spin?
"Just give me a minute. I'm just trying to decide something."
"What?"
"Well, you said it's a second hand car, but I just can't decide which is my first hand and which is the second?"
What is a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch!!
My husband was water-skiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds.
My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”
The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”