A policeman was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. “Officer — did you see my client escaping the scene?”
“No sir. Be that as it may, I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”
“Officer — who provided this description?”
“The responding officer.”
“A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”
“Yes, sir. With my life.”
“With your life? Do you have a room where you change your clothes before your daily duties?”
“Yes, sir, we do.”
“And do you have a locker in the room?”
“Yes, sir, I do.”
“And do you have a lock on your locker?”
“Well officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, why do you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”
“You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”
A funny magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs. He started to panic and thought to himself, "What on earth have I done?"
He began to ponder, "How am I going to bring back my beloved family?" So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea was to take them to a hospital and see if the surgeon could operate and bring them back. He loaded them into his van and off he rushed to the local hospital.
He walked up and down the hospital hall and after some serious surgery, he asks the doctor, "Doc, how are they?"
The doctor replied, "Comfortable!"
The school teacher gave a pupil two apples. One was big the other was small. Then she said: "When your brother comes up and asks you for one of the apples which one are you going to give him?"
The student thought about it for a minute then replied: "Are we talking about my little brother or my big brother?"