What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish!
One Easter Sunday morning as the pastor was preaching a children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.
He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know, I know!" a little boy exclaimed, "Pantyhose!"
What do you call a Volkswagen Beetle in which a poor person has to sleep?
A "Bed Bug"!
Teacher: "John, what's the matter? Why are you looking so upset?"
John: "My dad is in police station and my mom is in hospital!"
Teacher: "Oh God! Please go home!"
The principal happened to see John leave. He asks the teacher, "Where's John heading to?"
Teacher: "I permitted him to go home because his dad is in police station and mom is in hospital."
Principal: "His dad is a cop and his mom is a nurse... where else they would be?"