Teacher: Railroad crossing at the track. How many R's in that?
Little Johnny: There are no R's in 'that'.
What did the quarter say to the penny?
You don’t make much cents.
Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.
He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband?" and she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife?" and my mom said, "He does."