Latest Jokes

A married guy goes for his annual physical and to his shock & dismay the doctor tells him he has only 24 hours to live.

He goes home in shock and tells his wife, who makes him his favorite meal. They then go into the bedroom and make love. Around 10 o'clock he says lets do it again and she agrees. Around midnight as his wife is drifting off to sleep he nudges her and says how about one more time.

She rolls over and says, "Hey, some of us have to get up for work in the morning."

If con is the opposite of pro...

Does that mean Congress is the opposite of progress?

Why don't most women play football?

Because it's hard to get 11 women to wear the same outfit in public!