To get my cousin to write to her even once, my aunt resorted to sending him a check with this note: “Do not cash until you write me a thank you.”
A few weeks later, the check had cleared, yet no message had arrived. So she called him. “I told you not to cash the check until you’d written to thank me,” she complained.
“I didn’t cash the check,” he said. “I deposited it.”
This old woman would never drink beer.The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but nervous young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced lady came to the door.
"What do you want, Sonny?" she demanded.
"D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?" he asked.
"Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" replied the lady.
"S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"
Funny Bumper Stickers:
If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You
Forget World Peace -- Visualize Turning Off Your Turn Signal!
HANG UP AND DRIVE!
Where There's A Will...I Want To Be In It!
Ever Stop To Think, And Forget To Start Again?
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
This Bumper Sticker Exploits Illiterates
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Honk If Anything Falls Off
I Haven't Lost My Mind - It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere