I wanted to do a pun on Sodium, but Na.....
"I don't like insect puns." "Really? Why not?" "I don't know, they just bug me."
I have instructed my children and wife where to go in case of a tornado... The TRASH CAN, as in my home nothing ever hits it.
A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.” The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you."