At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldplate, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.
"Mr. Goldplate," announced little Joey, "there's something' I can't figure out."
"What is that Joey?" asked Goldplate.
"Well according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you are right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something' important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldplate. "So what is your question?"
"What I want to know is this," demanded Joey. "What were all the grownups doing?”
A young hiker is traveling thru a heavily wooded area and comes upon a Monastery full of friars and monks. He knocks on the door for directions, however is invited inside for "Fish and Chips" for lunch.
After lunch he exclaimed that this was the most delicious fish and chips he had ever eaten. Seeing a chef emerge from the kitchen, he raced over and said, "Are you the Fish Friar?
To which the reply was, "No, I am the Chip Monk."
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono...
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali...
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, she'd be Cat Doggy Dogg...
If Sandra Locke married Elliott Ness, divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she would become Sondra Locke Ness Munster...
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting...
If Ivana Trump married Orson Bean, King Oscar, Louis Mayer, Norbert Wiener, the she'd be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener...
And, if Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced and married Gregory Peck, Divorced him for Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur!!!
Our supply clerk at the factory was in a dither. A box had been left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: "Danger! Do Not Touch!"
Management was called, and we were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed. When the foreman arrived, he donned safety goggles and gloves, and then he carefully opened the box.
Inside were 25 signs that read: Danger! Do Not Touch!