There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. You had your choice of papers for an A-grade, B-grade, and C-grade.
A student who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than her assignment, went to the bank and took out a paper for a C-grade. She went home, retyped it, and handed it in.
In due time she received it back with the grade of an 'A'. The professor left the following comment, "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have received an A, so now I am glad to give it one."
A man arrives at the repair shop to pick-up his watch.
Clerk: "I haven't finished repairing it yet. just give me a few more minutes.
Man: "Sure, no problem."
The man goes and stands right next to the clerk, who notices him but continues working. After a while, he can't take it anymore.
Clerk: "Why are you sticking so close to me?"
Man: "I'm only doing what the sign outside your door says."
Clerk: "And what is that, may I ask?"
Man: "It says, 'Watch Repairs.'"
My dry cleaner very generously provides a stack of free newspapers for his customers.
As I took my copy, I told him, "I hope the business grows enough to offset the cost of the papers."
Oh, don't worry about us," he chuckled. "Nothing dirties clothes more than newsprint."