Most people don't know that the oldest computer in history happened to be an 'Apple'.
It was created around the same time as Adam and Eve and came in several colors and sizes with a satin, semi or high-gloss finish.
Unfortunately, one 'byte' was all it took before everything crashed!
John: How's your new alarm clock working out?
Fred: It didn't work out at all. It gave me so much trouble I returned it to the store.
John: Really! What was wrong with it?
Fred: It kept waking me up every morning.
What's a budget?
A 'Budget' is basically a method for going broke methodically.
"Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose class you're cutting this time?"
"Like," the young teen replied, "uh, see, okay, like it's like, I really don't like, think like, that's really important, y'know, like because I'm, y'know, like I don't get anything out of it."
"It's Mrs. Dull's English class, isn't it?" replied the smiling teacher.