A city slicker goes to visit his cousin who owns an apple orchard. The cousin takes him out to show him the bountiful crop on the trees.
The city slicker sees all the apples and asks, "How many apples grow on trees?"
His cousin smiles and says, "All of them."
There was once a police atom who ran into a suspect atom.
As they looked at each other the police atom said, "I've got my ion you!"
A Spanish magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says: “Uno, dos....”*POOF!!*
He disappeared without a tres.