What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"
A professional thief says, "Sign here please!"
Husband: "I wish to be the Prime Minister of the nation one day."
Wife: "But you already are the PM of a nation."
Husband: "Really, which nation?"
Wife: "The Imagi-nation."
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."
When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it."
"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it. Otherwise, I won't know where to get off."
What did the mummy director say after they finished making the movie?
That’s a wrap!