A Spanish magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says: “Uno, dos....”*POOF!!*
He disappeared without a tres.
Why were the tomatoes in the fridge embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing.
A very self-centered actor was hauled into a court as a witness. When asked to state his occupation he announced quit confidently, "I am the world's greatest actor."
"Why did you tell them that?" a friend inquired afterward.
"Had to," was the answer. "I was under oath."