A man comes to his doctors office all battered and bruised. The doctor sees him and asks him how he got injured.
The man said there was a knock at his front door. When he opened the door there stood a six foot cockroach. He said he tried to shut the door real quick but before he could react the cockroach knocked him back against the far wall. He said the cockroach threw him around from wall to wall, punched and kicked him and then just turned and left.
The doctor said, "This is the flu season. I've been trying to contact all my patients and let them know there's a real nasty bug going around this year."
I was recently out for an evening with friends and had more than several beers, followed by a couple of bottles of red wine and then a few vodka shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was just slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi.
On the way home, there was a police roadblock. But since it was a taxi, they waved it past, and I arrived safely home without incident. This was a real surprise to me.
Well, because I had never driven a taxi before.