Latest Jokes

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doing just fine."

And the other guy says, "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre, so I say, "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling."

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Okay, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "No, sorry, I'm a little busy right now!'

Then I hear the guy say nervously, "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."

You Know You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When...

- You ski uphill.

- You get a speeding ticket even when you are parked.

- You speed walk in your sleep.

- You answer the door before people knock.

A men's Sunday school teacher asked the men how they would spend the next 30 days if they knew the world would end. The first man said, "I would spend it on a mission to Africa."

They all agreed this was a great idea. The second man said, "I would volunteer at the local hospital and help as many as possible."

They all agreed this was a worthy goal as well. The third man said if he only had 30 days to live he would spend every minute with his ex-wife. They were all shocked at his answer as he had endured a most miserable marriage to a shrew.

"Why would you want to spend your last 30 days with a woman you hated?" they asked.

'Well, I really am not looking forward to the end of the world and I would want to delay it as long as possible. And believe me, living with my ex-wife would make 30 days seem like an eternity!"

“If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?”