Latest Jokes

A guy told his friends, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue."

Turns out his boss just got sick and tired of him.

A lady moved from Phoenix to Seattle and when she arrived it was raining. While she moved in, it rained. The next day it rained, and the next, and then the next.

After several rainy days, while standing on her porch, she noticed a young boy on the porch of her neighbor's house. Trying not to sound too depressed, in a cheerful voice she called over to the lad, "Hi son, I'm your new neighbor."

"Hi," the boy called back and waved.

"Say, son, does it ever stop raining here?" she asked.

With a look of consternation, the youngster replied, "Lady, how would I know? I'm only six years old!"

One day in basic training the drill sergeant came out and said, "I need two volunteers for garbage duty."

When no one spoke up the drill sergeant pointed to two privates and said, "Okay, you and you!"

One of the privates said, "But I didn't volunteer?"

"Were you drafted?" the drill sergeant asked.

"No," said the private.

The drill sergeant smiled and said, "That's right, you volunteered."