The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She’s beautiful, isn’t she?"
I said, "If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate!"
He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"
I said, "No, she’s an optician!"
What does a dalmatian say when scratching an itch?
"Ah, that's the spot!"
I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...
She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.
Why did the dog walk into the bar?
He was looking for the person that shot his PAW.