Latest Jokes

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Nobody can find it.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. The virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

PBS VIRUS: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:

There is nothing new... under a rock.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with... a private jet.

If you can't stand the heat... try Antarctica.

Better late than... absent.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and... then blow your nose.

A bird in the hand is... better than a woodpecker on your head.

Early to bed, early to rise... and you will get the best cereal.

Don't burn your bridges... or you'll fall in the lake.

Haste makes... sweat.

A penny saved... is not a lot.

A miss is as good as... a mister.

A saleswoman is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

"Don't you have a phone in your car?"

"That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."

"Uh... how's that working?"

"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

"And why do you think that is?"

"I figure its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."