A not so bright young lady in the pet shop ask about buying a gold fish.
The salesperson ask if she needed an aquarium.
Her reply was, "I don't care what sign it is."
A sign outside of a hotel read:
"Help! We need inn-experienced people!"
While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took x-rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis.
"What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment.
"He fell out of a tree," I reported.
The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree.
"I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Bob's Expert Tree Service."
Gazing intently at the x-rays, the radiologist blinked and said, "Cross out 'Expert.'"
Woman customer in restaurant: "I'd like a margarita please."
Waiter: "I'll need to see your ID."
Customer (giggling while showing her ID): "You think I look like a teenager?"
Waiter: "No. I thought you qualified for our senior citizen discount."