Latest Jokes

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After my divorce at age 40, my boss, a 70 year old business owner, approached me to find out how things were going with me and my ex.

I told him it was unexpected and now that I'm going through this, I'm finding out that my brother is also getting divorced, my neighbors are getting divorced, another coworker is also getting divorced.

I said, "I don't know what's going on!"

He told me with a straight face, "You guys are all doing okay getting divorced. The people I know are dying."

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posted by "Ricky G" |
$12.00 won 6 votes

My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet.

He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.

Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, “I just used a modem.”

6 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Mary" |
$8.00 won 6 votes

I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books.

After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he was looking for, but he didn’t answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books.

“Since I couldn’t find the right engagement ring, this will have to do,” he said as he firmly stamped my hand.

Across my knuckles, in capital letters, it read... “NOT FOR CIRCULATION".

6 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Mary" |
$9.00 won 7 votes

A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him and now he can say only one word a year. So he waits 14 agonizing years—accumulating all his words—before approaching his beloved.

Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his heart skips a beat. He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees, and intones, “My darling, I have waited many years to say this... Will you marry me?”

The princess turns around, smiles, and says, “Pardon?”

7 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "stee" |