At a restaurant one night, the man at the next table was pulling out all the stops to impress his underwhelmed date.
He crowned a lengthy list of lifetime achievements by stating, “At least I can say I have been a Hollywood movie producer.”
The woman nodded. “I’ll make a note of that: ‘has-been movie producer.'”
Patient: "Doc, I am very stressed out and I am not getting proper sleep at night."
Doctor: "I am giving you some medicines and sleeping pills."
Patient: "Is this going to help?"
Doctor: "Yes, just give it to your wife before going to bed."
If you think about it, snakes get a bad rap in life. I mean really now, if you were born
with no arms and no legs, you'd also be very bitter, recluse and have a 'Chip On Your Shoulder'.
Oh that's right...these poor reptiles don't have any shoulders either!
See what I mean?