At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.
When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: "Is this pig?"
Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly, "Which end of the fork are you referring to?"
Why didn’t the frog sit on the toadstool?
Because there wasn’t mushroom.
Why does the sun rise in the east?
Because it can't rise in the west!
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade…
And then you find somebody whose life has given them vodka!