My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home, collect.
My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?"
Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!"
To get my cousin to write to her even once, my aunt resorted to sending him a check with this note: “Do not cash until you write me a thank you.”
A few weeks later, the check had cleared, yet no message had arrived. So she called him. “I told you not to cash the check until you’d written to thank me,” she complained.
“I didn’t cash the check,” he said. “I deposited it.”
This old woman would never drink beer.The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but nervous young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced lady came to the door.
"What do you want, Sonny?" she demanded.
"D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?" he asked.
"Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" replied the lady.
"S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"