They say the truth is out there...
If that is the case...
Does anyone know the URL?
The secret to success is sincerity...
And once you learn to fake it, you've got it made!
Customer: "Excuse me, but are you looking to hire any help at present?"
Manager: "No, we already have all the staff we need."
Customer: "In that case, would you mind getting someone to wait on me?"
The man selling two-dollar tickets at Monmouth Racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window, and asked to bet on himself.
"What's the matter?" snorted the horse. "Are you astonished that I can talk?"
"Not at all," said the man. "I'm surprised that you think you can win."