Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino's holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.
"I haven't ordered any pizza," I said. "This must be a mistake."
"No, it's not," he replied. "Your neighbor forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for dinner."
Tonight I’m gonna have possum soup made from Himalayan possum...
Because I found Himalayan on the road.
A minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled out. New dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. On the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded, “The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my new dentures were hurting me a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures. I don't know what happened, I just couldn't stop!”