A father and his son were looking at a nativity scene in a London gallery. It was Titian's world-famous painting of the scene at Bethlehem. The boy said, “Dad, why is the baby lying in such a crude cradle in a pile of straw?”
"Well, son,” explained the father, “they were poor, and they couldn't afford anything better.”
Said the boy, "Then how could they afford to have their picture painted by such an expensive artist?”
Boy: "Teacher, can I ask you a question?"
Teacher: "Good job, you just did."
An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.
He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.
John: Do you know how many children a family would have if the husband had to share in the labor and delivery?
Fred: No I have no idea.
John: They would only have three. The woman would have the first one, the husband the second and the wife would have the third. There would be no more because the husband has no intention of going through it again.