The young man at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning nineteen and he couldn't decide whether to give her a dozen roses or nineteen roses -- one for each year of her life.
The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, "She may be your nineteen-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your fifty-year-old wife."
The young man bought a dozen roses.
The Scots invented golf...
Which might explain why they invented Scotch.
A civil servant is badly hurt, after falling down the stairs at city hall. He is taken to the hospital where he remains in a coma for several days.
Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him, "My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all, you'll never be able to work again."
"Okay," muttered the injured bureaucrat. "What's the bad news?"